so *THIS* is my *CONCLUSION*. the truth hurts.

and i feel like i've said this a couple times before- the longer i stay in minnesota without anyone assigned to professionally assist me in making sure i move to the east coast and create a responsible successful safe apartment for me to live in.. THE LONGER I'LL CONTINUE BRINGING UP THE DAMN TRAUMA MY MOM PUT ME THROUGH.. THAT PROBABLY GOES FOR THE REST OF MY FAMILY TRAUMATIZING ME ALSO (not to the point of PTSD like my mom did but all the neglect and how they made their nasty ass remarks to me with the impression they're entitled and better than me because I am the vulnerable one these days). SO YES!! AMANDA SINCE YOU SEEM TO THINK YOU'RE SO DAMN SMART.. I'M ASSUMING YOU'RE INTENTIONALLY NOT HELPING ME MOVE BECAUSE YOU THINK IT'LL JUST BRING ME CLOSER TO MY FAMILY!.. you couldn't be further than the truth. i honestly must mutter to myself at least once every hour of the day "i hate those bitches." referring to my mom and sister. that's what you assholes get for stalking me. i'm annoyed and i KNOW you two can't be the only ones doing it because i KNOW my mom is whining to anyone who will actually fuckin listen to her just by judging my facebook user list. i'm sorry my mom is so fuckin immature but that's not gonna make me all of a sudden coddle her like she was done all of my grandma's life (i'm pretty sure because my grandma felt responsible for my mom's inability to work.. SHE NEVER WORKED BECAUSE SHE COULDN'T "READ" BUT NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE KNOWS HOW TO READ SINCE I HAVE A BLOG! IT'S A MIRACLE! i don't really understand the purpose of this though because she obviously doesn't care about me seeing as she acts like a jealous priss towards me and she put me in front of her (using me as a shield) while my dad was kicking her. ANY PARENT WHO ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT THEIR DAUGHTER WOULD BE DOING EVERYTHING THEY COULD TO REMOVE THEIR DAUGHTER FROM A SITUATION WHERE HER DAD IS ANGRY AND DRUNK.. so that obviously eliminates MY MOM because she just does shit that is good for her (it was good for her to put me in front of her while being kicked, so she wouldn't feel the damage.. i suppose maybe it'd actually matter if she REALLY cared about ME in this situation because she would've been trying to get me away from my angry dad to PROTECT me like a CARING PARENT- that's too much to ask of an entitled selfish person like my mom though- so SHE PLAYS THE VICTIM AS USUAL AND FORCES MY GRANDPA TO GET PISSED OFF AT MY DAD WHILE HE ASSUMES IT'S ALL ON MY DAD AND CHASES HIM TO MEXICO- SO MY BROTHER AND I NEVER GET TO KNOW OUR DAD). my reminiscing dream told me what happened and i put two and two together. judging by what i remember the FIRST time i had to have surgery on my perforrated bowel when my grandma mentioned under her breath to the doctors about how i was ACCIDENTALLY kicked by my dad like a week before the doctors decided to perform surgery on my bowel the first of two times so far in my life. I'M ON THE ROAD TO SHITTING IN A BAG! THANKS A LOT YOU SELFISH ASSHOLE OF A MOM! no wonder why you couldn't really do anything with your life all your life.. God rewards people by their judge of character and he sees how SELFISH and HORRIBLE of a person you are. as long as you keep refusing to take accountability for the shit you're responsible for- DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING GOOD TO HAPPEN FOR YOU. THAT'S A PROMISE. YOU CAN TRY TO STEP ON THE BACKS OF PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY FUCKING WORK FOR WHAT THEY GOT (LIKE ME AND JAY)- BUT I'M NOT GONNA CONDONE YOUR BULLSHIT JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE PRIVILEGED ENOUGH TO HAVE THE SAME DNA AS I HAVE. jay tells me that you call him all the time and he just listens to your voicemails because he usually doesn't feel like dealing with you either. i don't even have the patience for your bullshit anymore. call your festively plump daughter. she should have enough time to deal with you- she didn't finish school, so that eliminates her being qualified for any jobs actually worth working!.. oh yeah, she has like 15 kids.. hm.. i'm sure one of them will talk to their grandma!.. bother them. leave jay and i alone. you don't like us as much as you like amy anyway).